Dear Dad,
One year ago you left this earth without saying goodbye and the pain is still there. I still wonder where’d you go. What is life like for you now? Do you see me? Are you happy? Do you miss us? People say that you are in a better place, is that true or is that something they say to make us feel better? I still can’t believe you are gone. I still have all your texts that I re-read and your voice mail. I don’t want to forget your voice or make it so that you never existed.
I have your steering wheel cover on the Dodge, it is too big but I’ve been able to work with it. It looks strange to the average person but it gives me comfort knowing that your hands held the same steering wheel. We have the same driving style you know. I think I learned that from watching you. I always felt safe when you drove.
So much has happened since you left, I want to write about it to help people who have suddenly lost a loved one. There was so much I didn’t know. It’s hard to get started, the pain is still too strong. The one good out of this is that I am no longer afraid of death because I know you will be waiting for me on the other side.
I want to make you proud Dad, I miss you so much and sometimes I wish you would show yourself. I won’t be afraid, I promise.
I bet you are hanging with some of my favorite people who have passed like Paul Walker, I bet you guys talk about cars all day long.
Say hi to Jackie Collins for me, she was my favorite author and Wayne Dyer, he’s taught me a lot about adversity and helped keep my mind strong and positive.
Dad, I hope you are enjoying your new life and it is better than the one you had here.
I miss you so much and I look forward to seeing you again.
In Love and light,
Gillian
